I walked in the door from work. There was a stack of mail on the table. The kitchen looked like it hadn't been cleaned for days. My husband was sitting on the couch with his feet up. I hate when he wears the socks with holes in them.

"Hey Alex", he said.

My name was Alexandria, but since the day I met him he always called me Alex.

"Hi", I said with hesitation hoping for some reason he didn't notice that I had come in.

I began to rummish through the stack of bills and baby magazine's I had subscribed to every month thinking I was finally bearing a child. I didn't have the heart to cancel them when I found out I wasn't. Every time I get a new magazine I throw it in the baby stash I have hiding in the closet underneath the stairs. They are too unbearable to look at.

"Your mother called. She said her and the fam were coming into town for Thanksgiving."

Shit! I thought. I forgot Thanksgiving was only a week away. I was so consumed with testing during my fertile weak waiting for just the right time to strike.

"Well did you tell her no", I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"When have I ever been able to tell her no?", he turned around and looked over the couch.

I could feel his eyes beaming on me so I turned around. Then I saw it. Three beers on the table.

"Are you stupid?!" "You are not supposed to be drinking! How am I ever supposed to get pregnant when you feel the need to throw one back anytime you have a free moment?"

In that moment  he stood up.

"Are you kidding me? Maybe I wouldn't be so stressed out and need a drink if I didn't have to worry about getting your infertile ass pregnant!"

I began to weep. He could see the disappointment on my face. It was too much for him to bare.

"I'm sorry honey," he touched my hand.

I pulled back.

" I told you we can adopt, whatever we have to do", he said.

"It's not the same!", I yelled. The only thing I could do was run upstairs to our bedroom. It was like one of the flashbacks I had as a child, running to my room every time my parents didn't give me what I wanted. I felt helpless.
The next morning I went to work. Of course the same way I always do. I passed the preschool again and I saw her. The weather is starting to change and she has on a big furry coat. It almost drowns her, It makes me smile.